Foreign Affairs - Chapter 1

 

Chapter - 1

My name is Sachin. Or that's what I say to people. But my full name as per my Aadhar card, the document which authenticates me anywhere in India and my passport that identifies me anywhere else in the world, I am Sachidhanandha Swaminathan.

 

I am from Tamil Nadu. Normally I don't have to say this statement to people. Just by seeing me and hearing my name, anyone can easily place me where I belong. 

 

My typical nerdy look (thanks to my thick rimmed glasses), my heavily oiled side-partitioned hair and thick moustache, (yes even my moustache is oiled), the Thiruneeru (sacred ash) on my forehead, my dark-complexioned skin (in my native, we call it as wheatish), my breath that smells of filter coffee - all screams Tamilian (Yes, not Madrasi). 

 

And when I talk Tamil in my Kongu accent, anyone from Tamil Nadu will immediately ask me, "Thambi Koyambathoorungala?" which translates to, "Brother, you are from Coimbatore, right?" 

 

Yes. I belong to this beautiful city called Coimbatore which is an established industrial hub, an eminent educational hub and an emerging IT hub. Both the city and its people are modern and affluent yet are rooted to their traditions and culture.  We are known for our hospitality, polite nature and kind words. 

 

I was born and brought up in this city. My father, Mr. Swaminathan is an engineering college professor, unlike his two elder brothers, one who owns a textile mill and the other who does coconut farming in Pollachi, a small town near Coimbatore. 

My mother, Mrs. Lakshmi Swaminathan is a well-educated home maker. Before she had me, she was working in a bank as a manager. But later she quit her job to take care of me full-time.

 

I was born to my parents after about 12 years of their marriage and also being their only son, I was the apple of their eyes, their only priority in their lives. So, they showered me with abundant love, care and attention.  And their way of showing affection was not by pampering me all the time and dancing to my tunes at home. It was exactly the opposite.

My parents belonged to that generation who believed that parents are supposed to be strict with their kids and not be friendly or lenient. They had an authoritative way of parenting where I was expected to follow their instructions with no questions asked. And I grew up the exact same way they wanted. I loved them, respected them and also feared them a lot.

 

They were like my shadow. Even a shadow would leave me in the dark, but they never left my side. They were with me literally everywhere, every time.

 

In the morning, my father would personally drop me at the school every day and then my mother would pick me up in the afternoon. Then she would take me to the tuitions and would wait there till my classes are done. Even after coming back home, she would keep an eye on me while I am studying and my dad will take his turn to watch me study after he comes back from his college. They even went to sleep only after they ensured that I am asleep. In the weekends I had my cricket coaching classes and even there too, my dad would be waiting for me outside the ground till my classes are done. 

 

I was allowed to hang out with my friends, but only at our home, not anywhere outside. If at all I had to meet my friends elsewhere, then either my father or mother would escort me. Even for any of my friend’s birthday party or going out for movies with friends or a play date, they would accompany me. 

 

Eventually, even my friends stopped inviting me anywhere as they knew that my mom or dad would accompany me and with them around, we boys couldn't do or even talk about many things. 

 

Even at my home many things were restricted for me. I was allowed to watch TV in my spare time but the TV remote would be with my mother or father and they controlled what I saw, when I saw or for how much time I saw.

 

We also had no Internet connection at home, as they thought that it would be a distraction and would spoil my studies. If at all I had to look up for something in the Internet, I would be taken to the Internet cafe where my dad or mom would be sitting along.

That was the time when, the mobile phones were just getting popular and everyone were getting one for themselves but my parents obviously did not want to handover the whole world into my hands. So, I had no cell phone but only a landline access. And phone usage was also strictly monitored with caller-IDs and phone lock.  

 

Sounds very autocratic and suffocating right!? And it felt the same too.

 

As a 28-year-old, now I understand that, my parents behaved this way not because they did not trust me but they wanted to make sure that I didn’t have a chance to do anything bad or indulge in any bad habits. This was the way they were brought up by their parents and they believed that this is how parents make sure that their kids don’t get spoilt or distracted. I can understand that whatever they did for me was always in my best interest and so they kept me under their protective shade. But back in my teens all I wanted was to come out of their control and lead my life in my own terms. And for that, I had to get a college admission in any part of the world, other than Coimbatore, so that I can move out of my home and be a hosteller and enjoy time away from parents and do all the things I wanted, freely, without anyone’s supervision.

 

When I told my parents that I wanted to get admission in some college elsewhere, they were shocked, rather they thought that I was being stupid and asked, “Why do you even want to go out of Coimbatore, when all the best colleges are here?”

“Yeah, people from different parts of the country come here for education,” my father joined in too.

“But I have been here my whole life already! I want some exposure to the outside world,” I said.

“What do you mean by your whole life!? You are just 19 now. You have got your whole life ahead of you to explore the world,” my mom said.

“And I know what kind of exposure you get in colleges. I have personally seen many bright students from schools, having backlogs in colleges just because of the various distractions they have”, my father said.

“But Appa..”, I started.

My mom interrupted saying, “You are really lucky. Imagine the comfort you would have at home while we take care of all your needs. You can dedicate your whole time for your studies. If you go to hostel, you will have to wash your own clothes and do other chores, eat unhealthy and tasteless food and no one will be there to take care of you like we do. Do you really want that!?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted,” I wished to say, but I stayed silent.

“You are not going anywhere else for college. End of discussion,” my father declared.

 

And as he said there was no further discussion and I got my admission in Electronics and Communication Engineering at the RSG Engineering College and Technology. The same college where my father worked as Mechanical Engineering Professor. The college was just at a 10 minutes distance from my home. So just like old school days, I went along with my father to college and also came back along with him.

 

Just a day before the first day of my college, my father gave me an emotional talk where he told that how he had built an impeccable reputation for himself in his college all these years and how it was now my duty to ensure that I did not taint that in any way.

I knew what that exactly meant.

No fun of any sorts in college but only studying, like good old school days.

 

Now, when you are in school and if it happens that your parent is also working as a teacher in that same school, then life is all set for you. You will be pampered by most of the other teachers; all your classmates will look at you as if you are some celebrity and would want to be friends with you. You will have many first-hand insider information about interesting stuffs, like when the annual day is going to be or where you will be going for excursion, etc. The principal and even the top members of the management committee would know you by your name. In short, you will be one of the popular people in the school.

 

But when you have your parent working in the same college where you are studying, the entire situation is topsy-turvy. You don’t receive any special treatment from anyone, rather, everything about you is critically observed by everyone. From every professor to lecturer, from every staff in the college to the guards, all eyes are on you.

Any achievements you get are going to be brushed off by saying, “Yeah, he is a professor’s son, obviously he must be good at it.”

And any small error is highlighted big time.

Like even if someone sees me at the canteen during the college hours they would ask me, “You are Professor Swaminathan sir’s son, right? What are you doing here at this time, instead of attending the class? If people like you do such things, then what can we say about others!?”

 

And also, not many of my class guys wanted to be friends with me as they knew that all eyes will be on them too.

Though I must say, that girls for some reason liked to be friends with me. Maybe they thought of me as some sort of intellectual or maybe they hoped that I might know about the important questions for the exams or they thought that I could be a good teammate for working on papers or projects, or whatever reason it was.

But I consciously kept my distance away from girls. I did not want any girl, even as a friend and did not want to hangout with them in college because that would be another hot topic tp gossip amongst the other staffs which could eventually reach my dad’s ears.

 

And that’s why I had no option, but to be a nerd in college. So, in my 4 years of engineering life, I made myself super busy with my studies. I took part in many symposiums, presented many papers and worked on many project presentations. I just made a point that if people were going to talk about me it would be only for the good things I did. And my parents were proud of me as always.

 

Throughout my college life, I only had two close friends. One was Mahender, another dork, who liked to have absolute zero entertainment and was dedicated only to studies. He had no other friends and also as I had no one else who wanted to be my friend, we both became friends

 

Later Kapil - Kapil Singh from Pind in Punjab, joined our gang. Initially we thought that Pind was a place in Punjab but only later we came to know that ‘Pind’ meant ‘village’ in Punjabi. He was a simple, innocent, village boy for whom even Coimbatore was a huge posh metropolitan city. Many girls were behind him for his looks, his language - English mixed with Hindi, his funny attempts to speak Tamil. He was considered exotic amongst all the other localites like us. But being a shy and introvert person, he did not know want that kind of attention and so did not mingle with others and thus ended up in our gang – the NGNEFS Gang – “No girls. No enjoyment. Full Studies” Gang. We were the toppers of our department. The best outgoing students of our batch in college.

 

Soon we reached the end of our third year and placements were just about to begin. Many companies were lined up for visits and we were all busy in our preparations so that we can get placed in a reputed MNC with a high package. I was also excited not just because I would get a high paying job but also this was my chance to have my ticket out of Coimbatore finally. It was time to execute the plan that I had made after my twelfth boards. To get away from my home and parents and have some real fun.

And this time I knew it would be even better. I could live in a city, far away from my home and parents, with money to spend and no burden of studies or any other commitments. A perfect plan to enjoy my life, finally.

 

But as luck would have, that year many companies had opened their new corporate offices at Coimbatore which meant that I might land a job which was just 10 minutes from my home.

And I could picture how I would be dropped off at my office by my dad every morning just like my school and college days. The mere thought of it was a nightmare.

 

I knew I had to get my job in a company that did not have its office in and around my city. And M/s Systech was my only way out.

Systech was a European company which had just started their business in India and had their office only at Bengaluru, in the whole of India. Their pay was very high compared to all the other companies and also, they offered working at foreign locations even for freshers. So, it was a dream job of all the students. And they recruited only 1 or 2 people from the entire college. So, it was tough and highly competitive to get placed there. Getting a job at Systech was considered elite.

 

Getting placed there was important for me too. As this was my only way out. If I get recruited by Systech, even my parents can’t stop me from going, as it is a matter of the college’s reputation and commitment to the company. So, whoever gets placed there would definitely have to take the offer. So, by no means, my parents can stop me from going to Bengaluru, if I get selected.

So, I prepared very hard and I got placed at M/s Systech.

I was the happiest then.

Yes, finally I was moving out of my home, to work at Bengaluru.

 

Of course, my parents were definitely not happy about it.

There were lots of deliberation going on between them where they discussed if we all should our home to Bengaluru.

Though my father was in his early 60s and he had officially retired from the job, the management had extended his tenure and he was working as the Registrar of the College. So, he could not get relieved from that his job in Coimbatore.

And my mother could not leave my father alone to stay with me in Bengaluru. So, they had no other option but to leave me go to Bengaluru all alone.

 

I still remember the day I had packed my bags and had to leave to Bengaluru, my mom was in all tears. She cried so much that even I, for a moment thought that I should stay back.

 

And just before I was about to leave home, she said to me, “Just promise me that you won’t take off-site opportunity before you get married.”

“What?” I asked, quite surprised. What sort of a promise was that!?

“Yeah, if you are going to go abroad for your job, it should only be with your wife. I can’t let you go to a foreign land, all alone. Just wait for a year or two until I get you married to a beautiful girl of our choice. Ok!?”

 

I did not even know how to react to that. All I could do is just nod.

One thing was clear to me. I had only less time to live life on my own terms and I had to hurry to Bengaluru. And that’s how I stepped out of my place for the first time ever in my life.

 

And now here I am returning after my 5 years of off-site experience at Luxembourg, with my fiancé Mia and my 4-year-old daughter Inla.

And the thought that my parents have no clue about these two people in my life, just wants me to run back to Luxembourg and never come back to India.

God save my soul, I silently prayed, as I patted my daughter Inla who was now sleeping peacefully on my lap, on our flight to Coimbatore.

 

(to be continued…)